Aging

I turned 50 this past birthday.

And all kinds of things started changing in this old body.

One of the most important things is shortly after liquid goes in that liquid must go out.

So today I decided to focus on drinking a lot more water…for the good of this aging body.

And I drank.

Bottle after bottle.

And after 6 hours of 1 bottle an hour, I’ve come to this mathematical conclusion about my bodily functions:

B + 1 = P

where B = number of bottles

and P = number of trips to the men’s room

I had 2 trips by the time the first bottle was finished, and then stayed steady at 1 per bottle after that.

Now if that isn’t already too much information for you, I’d like to add this for your enlightenment too.

I try and do a 4 mile walk every day while I’m on the road (and I am right now). 

I figured this out while I was walking this evening:

D – 4 = PP

Bet that one has you stumped.

D = number of decades I’ve been alive

PP = number of port-a-potties on the walking route

So I’ve been alive 5 decades now, which means I need 1 port-a-potty near the midway point to accommodate the what-goes-in-must-come-out flow of my rapidly aging body right now.  I didn’t need one till now and for some reason I now need one just about every walk.

When I turn 60, so 6 decades, I figure I’ll need a second port-a-potty on the route, and then another when I turn 70.

When I turn 80, I figure I’ll hire some folks to just pull the port-a-potty along beside me while I walk because I’ll spend as much time getting rid of the fluid as I spend putting it in!

Thankfully, during today’s walk I smiled when I came upon this about halfway through:

If I keep walking like I’m doing now, I’ll have to start mapping the facilities along each of my walking trails. 

Can’t be caught with no facilities and people walking by all the time!

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